


bodyache

by punktsuki



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - BDSM, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, BDSM, Blowjobs, Bondage, Cock Rings, Consent, Dirty Talk, Dom!Remus, Dom/sub, Face-Fucking, M/M, May Contain Traces of Nuts, Power Dynamics, Praise Kink, Slurs, Sub!Sirius, if u kno what I mean, more to come - Freeform, sub space, there's a bit of a boot kink in here for some reason y'all idk man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-01-23 08:51:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18546418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punktsuki/pseuds/punktsuki
Summary: Sirius’ grey eyes flutter closed and Remus is certain that he’s never seen anything more beautiful.





	1. take me down

**Author's Note:**

> i may have written this over the easter weekend with christian vinyl records playing in my families home in the background... 
> 
> let's get safe sane and consensual, lads 
> 
> the title of this fic and this chapter come from ["bodyache" by purity ring](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbqcXnTt-7o)
> 
> find me on tumblr @ [crownedcirce](https://crownedcirce.tumblr.com/)

 

Sirius’ grey eyes flutter closed and Remus is certain that he’s never seen anything more beautiful.

 

Sirius is kneeling at his feet, naked, skin tinted in various shades of pinks and reds from flushes and strikes of Remus’ hand. He’s moaning around Remus’ fingers, spit-slick as he thrusts them in and out of Sirius’ mouth in a slow rhythm. Remus ignores the painful press of his cock, insistently rigid against the inside seam of his trousers. For now, anyway. Instead, he revels in the way Sirius looks, how he feels, the movement of his mouth and tongue on his fingers. He just watches, the arch of his back and the blush spreading across his pale complexion reaching down to his chest. He drags his gaze painfully slowly down to his cock, hard, dripping and flushed dark pink between is legs.

 

He’s mesmerising.

 

The heat of Sirius’ mouth is just about enough to drive him crazy. The spit shining and dribbling down from his mouth and onto his chin. He’s been so good for Remus, letting it pool and drip just as he was told to. The only thing Remus loves more than making a mess of Sirius, he says, is Sirius making a mess of _himself_.

 

“Good boy,” Remus murmurs. His left hand comes up to caress the back of Sirius’ upturned head, gently tangling his fingers in the damp, black strands. Sirius moans around his fingers at the contact, bobbing his head gently in a mock blowjob and taking more into his mouth. Remus notices the way his fists are clenched into tight little balls, pressing down onto the tops of his thighs. Remus just knows that he’s battling with the task to not touch himself without permission. Not that he would get much relief anyway, not with the cock ring he has clasped on him.

 

The image before Remus at this moment forces a heated sigh out from his throat. He finally draws his hand back from the heat of Sirius’ mouth, glistening strings of saliva stretching between them, connecting them in a slick web that snapped in a cold ricochet. Sirius pants into the empty space between them now, looking up at Remus from under his dark lashes, eyes hazy and lips swollen.

 

“Sir.” He swallows thickly, panting.

 

“I know baby, it’s okay,” Remus half-whispers. “Shh, I know. You just want something back in that hungry little mouth of yours.” Remus can’t help but smirk as Sirius’ cock visibly twitches between his legs.

 

“Please.”

 

Remus does not respond verbally. Instead, he lifts one foot. Pressing the sole of his oxford boot into Sirius’ chest and pushing him backwards forcing a little whimper out from Sirius. It turns into a soft groan as the movement applies pressure on the plug sitting inside him. Slowly, he adjusts and rearranges his body until he is laying down, back flat against the floor of their bedroom. Sirius winces. It’s a tiny thing but, Remus’ sees it as his foot sits flat against his chest, the pressure probably setting off a sting through the pinked skin underneath from where Remus had hit him with a crop until his skin bloomed red earlier on in their scene.

 

“Hands above your head,” Remus orders, though, quietly. Sirius obeys without a word, crossing his wrists for some sort of comfort.

 

He can feel the rise and fall of Sirius’ chest, every stuttered breath beneath his shoe. He tries to suppress a dark grin. He’s not so sure that he succeeds but, his chest is filled with both pride and desire. They had worked at this. Remus made him this way, pliant and obeying. Mixed feelings of love and trust and want swell in his belly as he looks down at him. The flush, really does look pretty on him.

 

“You like this, don’t you?” Remus asks, amused. He drags his foot gently down Sirius’ torso and lightly grazes over the flushed flesh of his cock. Sirius groans quietly, jaw clenched and his eyes screwed shut. “You like it when you’re naked, spread out and vulnerable, hm? You like my clothes, like how small they make you feel down there. Like when I use my tie to bind you? And my shoes, well…”

 

“Y-yes,” Sirius hisses out as Remus begins to toe at his balls before dragging his foot once more along the length of his cock.

 

“If I told you to lick them clean, you’d do it. Wouldn’t you?” Remus shifts, moving to stand cooly with one hand in the pocket of his trousers, foot resting lightly on Sirius’ hip. Having Sirius under him like this sends prickling shocks of power down his spine and straight to his gut. “You’d do it like the good little boy you are, I know, and you’d love it.”

 

Sirius’ breath stutters, teeth digging down into his bottom lip. Remus can feel him shaking under him. He observes the way his knuckles have gone white where his fists are still in place above his head and he watches his cock twitch as a pearl of precome is released.

 

He pauses, though.

 

Something isn’t sitting right in the expression painted across Sirius’ face. Even through the haze of lust, Remus can see the blush beginning to appear on Sirius cheeks. He can see that arousal is not entirely the cause, embarrassment is.

 

“Sirius?,” he asks, frowning slightly. “Open your eyes, baby.” He’s commanding still, though, his voice is soft now and laced with concern. He steps back, removing his foot. Sirius does as he’s asked, like he always does. “Sit up, please? Slowly.”

 

Remus crouches down and helps him into a comfortable kneeling position. They’re face-to-face now. Equal.

 

“What are our safewords?” Remus asks slowly. They had been through this earlier, as they always do at the beginning of a scene. But he has to make sure.

 

“Green, yellow, red. Same as always,” Sirius repeats from memory. His breathing is still ragged, cock still hard. He isn’t exactly looking at Remus, though. He seems to be but, Remus knows better. His eyes are clouded and he’s looking just over his right shoulder instead of looking him in the eyes. He _is_ embarrassed.

 

“Good, good. Eyes on me, Sirius.” Remus waited the second it took for him to comply. “Hey,” he sighed out with a smile.

 

“Hey,” Sirius responded, his smile weak and lopsided.

 

“You’ll use them if you want to slow down or to stop for any reason, right? The safewords?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Good,” Remus whispers. He still isn’t convinced though, not with the way Sirius had been avoiding his eyes. “Sirius, are you still feeling bad about being into this?” he asks. He isn’t interrogating, though. He’s simply concerned. Sirius’ eyes flick away once again, silently answering his question without a verbal response.

 

Remus’ fingers reach out to slip through dark strands of hair once again, dropping all his commanding energy at once. Shame is a lot to unlearn. Being queer on top of that often causes all sorts of subconscious conflict. He knows this all too well. He sees this in Sirius sometimes. The incessant white noise in his mind that tells him that this is wrong, that this should not be within the realm of things he should want.

 

It hurts Remus to see. There can never be anything shameful about Sirius during these moments. These are the moments, Remus knows, that Sirius is free. And it is beautiful. He has seen Sirius cry out in both pain and sensations of pleasure. He had heard Sirius whisper hushed secrets into the space between them in the dark what ideas burn the ocean inside his belly. He’s heard him beg for more, plead for relief. And it is all beautiful.

 

Because, he wanted it.

 

He knows with everything he is that there is nothing shameful about that.

 

“Would you like to stop?’ Remus asks, slowly, gently turning Sirius’ gaze back to his.

 

“N-no,” his voice cracks. “No,” Sirius repeats.

 

“Sirius…” he murmurs. His hands come up to cup either side of his face. “Sirius, what you do for me… it’s a gift. It is strong and it is brave. But you do not have to give it to me. I need to earn this. This is your body and your mind. Okay?”

 

“Remus…”

 

“It’s all in your hands, sweetheart. Not mine. But, just know that shame doesn't live here. You don’t need to be ashamed of what you want.”

 

Sirius’ eyes are swimming now, his brows raised in a form of grateful admiration. Encouragement, Remus thinks.

 

Sirius leans his face into his palm then, closing his eyes slowly and giving Remus a soft smile.

 

Remus’ heart tightens.

 

This says _I trust you_ like nothing else in this world ever could.

 

This says _thank you._

 

This says _I love you_.

 

This says _you make me feel normal, like I should_.

 

Sirius doesn’t have to say any of this out loud. Remus knows.

 

As he drops his hands, Sirius leans forward, placing a gentle kiss to the corner of Remus’ mouth. Remus returns the gesture with a feather-light kiss to Sirius’ forehead.

 

“Would you like to keep going?” Remus asks.

 

Sirius nods, simply, his body shuddering at the thought.

 

“And you’ll use the safewords? Even for the smallest thing you need?”

 

“Yes, Sir.” Sirius says, looking at him now with absolute adoration and trust. “I swear.” 


	2. saw you unreeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the second time during their afternoon, Sirius is at Remus’ feet. There really is nothing in this world that could replace this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back, I guess, to the four-part porn scene nobody asked for. Yes, there will be four chapters, I changed my plans up a little. I'm sorry but i'm also kind of not? 
> 
> Did I write this through the family game of thrones congregations? I sure as hell did. 
> 
> Again, the title of this chapter and the fics title come from ["bodyache" by purity ring](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbqcXnTt-7o)
> 
> come scream at me on [tumblr](https://crownedcirce.tumblr.com/) it'll be fun x

For the second time during their afternoon, Sirius is at Remus’ feet. There really is nothing in this world that could replace this. His beautiful boy. 

 

“Sir?” Sirius whispers into the close distance between them, the word turning up at the end in a question. 

 

“Yes?” Remus asks, his lips twitching up into a small smirk. 

 

“Can I suck your cock? Please?” The way Sirius looks up at him now makes Remus’ heart stutter in his chest and his cock stir in his trousers. 

 

“That’s what you want?” Remus is still smirking, his eyes running over Sirius’ lips now. 

 

Sirius simply nods, eyes blinking and focusing from Remus’ face  the obvious tent he has hidden away. Remus cups his chin, gently guiding his head to tilt it up. 

 

“Please, Sir.” 

 

Remus just about groans. Before his eyes, he can see the foggy haze coming over Sirius’ eyes, the way he looks when he’s in the headspace of submission.

 

“Well, you were very well behaved earlier…” Remus begins the pretence of contemplation. “Alright, you needy thing,” Remus concludes as he slowly undoes his belt. “I want to see those pretty lips around my cock.” 

 

Remus’ belt is left undone, hanging freely from the loops in his trousers. Slowly, he undoes the button and slides the zipper down. He doesn’t even bother to remove the piece of clothing at all. He simply pushes them down a little. He  _ knows  _ Sirius likes it this way. He does too, the easy power imbalance that clothing can signify. He loves watching Sirius slowly going out of his mind, only able to see and touch as much of Remus as Remus  _ lets _ him. 

 

Suddenly, Remus is slipping his fingers back into Sirius’s hair, tightening his grip and yanking. Hard. Sirius’s face is now only inches away from Remus’s flushed cock. Sirius winces impulsively, inhaling a sharp breath. 

 

“You want it? Go ahead,” Remus says. Want sings through his tone with commanding arrogance. Sirius leans forward eagerly, his breath hot against his skin. He runs his tongue along the length of Remus’ dick, forcing a low sound to escape from the back of Remus’ throat. His tongue was so hot, so wet, so  _ good _ . He slides his tongue down the sides and underside of him, making him shiny with spit. 

 

“What happened to  _ sucking _ my cock?” Remus bites out, yanking on Sirius’ hair once again. He’s not forcing him down though, not yet. 

 

“Mm, sorry, Sir,” Sirius murmurs against the slick length of him. He promptly takes the head of Remus’ cock in his mouth then and sucks. Remus groans. Sirius bobs his head. He takes more and more with each movement. 

 

“Don’t you dare swallow that spit,” Remus commands somewhat quietly. Of course, Sirius hears him though. He’s in tune to everything Remus says and does. “I want to see it.”

 

Sirius eyes, usually granite-cold, lift to meet his. And, they are  _ burning _ . He nods, half blinks up at Remus in response to let him know that he understands what his orders are and  _ fuck _ if this isn’t the hottest thing he’s seen. Sirius’ lips around him, spit collecting and beginning to drip, his eyes wide under those thick lashes and that  _ fucking  _ silent look of “Is this pleasing you, Sir?”

 

Remus lets out a heated breath through his nose. He’s sure that he’s almost at the point of  _ whining  _ but he has to hold it together. Sirius is still bobbing his head on his cock to his own rhythm, swirling his tongue around Remus’ head just the way he likes and- ”Mmm, that’s it, baby. Good boy,”-using the perfect amount of pressure. 

 

Sirius’ hands come up from their resting spot on his thighs. One hand comes up to hold onto the back of Remus’ knee, the other hand wraps around the base of his cock and slowly begins to pump in time with his bobbing mouth. 

 

Remus’ eyes snap open at the contact. He hadn’t realised he’d taken his eyes off Sirius. His grip in Sirius’ hair grips and yanks at his scalp, yanking Sirius back sharply and forcing him to look up at him. 

 

Sirius’ hands are now hovering in mid-air, frozen, pulled away from Remus as if he has been burned. His grey eyes are wide with shock and a surge of power and excitement rips through Remus’ gut at the sight. 

 

“Did I give you permission to do that?” Remus’ expression is hard as he stares down at Sirius. “Did I give you permission to touch me?” 

 

“N-No. I’m sorry. You didn’t, I-” 

 

The crack of Remus’ palm across the flesh of Sirius’ cheek is loud. Sirius flinches but doesn’t seem to breathe.

 

“No,  _ what? _ ”

 

“No, Sir!” Sirius exclaims on a sharp intake of breath, a gorgeous red flush blooming on the surface of his cheek. His eyes swim with submission and pain and the awareness of Remus’ control over him, Remus’ hand still wrapped tight in his hair. 

 

His grip relaxes and Sirius’ body sags. 

 

“That’s better,” Remus murmurs. He runs a thumb over the heat of the red mark on Sirius’ cheekbone. When he pulls away, Sirius turns his head down. 

 

“I’m sorry, Sir.”

 

“Really, I should have known,” Remus remarks airily.

 

Sirius sits, remaining still, quiet. 

 

“You just wanted my cock in your mouth so badly, hm? You dirty little thing.”

 

Sirius’ head still hung low on his shoulders. Remus watched as his fingers twitched silently in response.  _ Yes _ . 

 

“You wanted me to shove my cock past those pretty lips of yours and fuck your throat. Is that it?”

 

“ _ Fuck, yes _ ,” Sirius all but moans, his head snapping up to look back up at Remus. “Please, Sir.”

 

This is  _ exactly  _ how he likes Sirius. Almost desperate and pleading. 

 

“You’ll be good for me and gag, the way I like?” Remus’ smirk is back and it’s wicked. 

 

“Yes- Y-yes please, Sir.” 

 

“Well, it is what you deserve. But, you can no longer be trusted to keep your hands to yourself,” Remus mused. “Hands behind your back,” he ordered. “Now, Sirius.”

 

Sirius obeys, his breath still catching. Remus walked slowly over to their dresser and retrieving a familiar roll of rope. He checks to ensure that their safety scissors are still atop their dresser where he had left them. If Sirius needs his hands free at any point, he’s able to free him quickly. He’s  _ so good _ , already kneeling up straight, hands behind his back just as he had been asked. Remus kneels behind him, tying his wrists together. The ropes are soft, they're made for this. But, they’re still enough to dig and bite sometimes, the way Remus knows he likes. 

 

“There,” Remus says, letting Sirius know that he’s bound.

 

Sirius lets out a small breath, a sigh. One of relief, Remus knows. One that lets Remus know that he has provided him with some security. He can never get tired of that sound, or the way that Sirius looks right now. Eyes closed, hands tied, breathing calmly slowing now. 

 

It was time to undo him, though. 

 

Remus stands, his belt still unbuckled and clincking as he moves around the room. He picks up the television remote and returns to Sirius, still kneeling, back to him. He’s waiting patiently. 

 

Remus crouches and places the remote into Sirius’ right hand, ensuring that he grips it. Remus stands, moving around to where Sirius can see him once more. 

 

“You can’t tap me with your hands tied and you need a breath to use the safewords if it gets too much. So,” Remus begins to explain. “Drop that if you need to stop or slow down, do you understand?”

 

Sirius nods. 

 

“I’ll hear it hit the ground. I’ll pull back, okay?”

 

“Yes, Sir.” Sirius confirms. 

 

“Okay, open.” Remus smiles down at him. Sirius does, looking up at him from down on his knees. “Good boy.” 

 

One hand in Sirius’ hair, the other around the base of his own cock, Remus guides himself past Sirius’ open mouth and thrusts slightly into the wet heat. It’s only as far as Sirius had been taking him before. He’s taking small steps with him, but even the way that the control had shifted just  _ slightly  _ made Remus so ready for this. Sirius moans around his cock, allowing Remus to guide him with his hand in the back of his hair. He moved Sirius’ head back and forth, making it slick once more. 

 

He pulls back a moment. 

 

“Want you,” Sirius pants out. “Want you to fuck my throat, Sir.” Sirius’ lips and chin are glistening with spit as he looks up at Remus’ face. He’s asking, but Remus knows that this is really  _ begging _ and he feels a burning heat spark inside his chest. 

 

Remus cannot hold back any longer. 

 

He slides his cock back into Sirius’s waiting mouth. This time, he does hit the back of his mouth. He coughs and splutters lightly, but Sirius swallows, taking deep breaths through his nose and trying to adjust to the intrusion. 

“Relax, baby. I got you,” Remus soothes. He lets go of the base of his cock and slides his hand under Sirius’ chin. “I got you, It’s okay.” 

 

Sirius’ eyes roll back and close when Remus thrusts into his mouth. He feels the head of his cock slip down into Sirius’ throat and he  _ moans _ , a guttural, needy thing as he feels the muscles there constrict around his flesh. 

 

“T-that’s it, Sirius. Oh, baby that’s s-so  _ good _ ,” Remus gasps and rambles before pulling back. Sirius takes a deep, ragged breath. A string of saliva stretches between them, connecting them. “Just like that, baby. Okay?”

 

“Y-yes,” Sirius voice breaks. “Yes, Sir.” Sirius opens his mouth again and Remus thrusts back in, burying his cock in Sirius’ throat once again after a few shallow movements. 

 

“Ye-eah that’s it, baby,” Remus stutters out through gritted teeth, gently using Sirius’ hair to get him to sink down further. “You can take more, can’t you?” Sirius sputters and coughs around Remus’ cock again but swallows down a few more inches. “So  _ fucking  _ good for me,” Remus slurs, his hops rocking back and forth in a slow rhythm. 

 

Remus pulls back, letting out a slow, fucked out sigh. Sirius gasps on an intake of breath and closes his mouth. Remus grips his hair tight once he realises what he was about to do. Sirius chokes, tears beginning to collect in his eyes, making them swim in the dull light of their room. 

 

“What did I say about spit?” Remus hisses. “It’s mine and I want to see it, don’t you dare swallow.” Sirius immediately spits the pool of saliva from his mouth onto Remus’ already slick cock. 

 

_ Oh, fuck that’s hot.  _

 

“Mm, sorry, Sir.” 

 

Remus grips the base of his cock again, running the head along Sirius parted, wet lips. “You going to stop play games, you greedy little thing and let me fuck it?” 

 

“Yes. Yes, Sir. Yes, please,” Sirius’ response is delirious and fucked out. “W-want to gag for you, Sir.” 

 

When he thrusts in this time, he keeps thrusting, not relenting. He feels spit slipping down Sirius’ chin and watches as the length of himself disappears into Sirius’ mouth. Tears start to spill over the ducts in Sirius eyes and Remus groans, knowing that this is just another way Sirius allows him to take him apart. 

 

He lets Sirius off, allowing him to take a breath before he pushes Sirius’ head back down, burying his hand in the dark curls. 

 

“ _ Down _ ,” he growls out. With every thrust, every second his air is restricted, Remus can see Sirius falling deeper into that floaty, endorphine-filled haze. His inhibitions and doubts completely stripped away. 

 

He lets him up again. 

 

“D-Don’t let me up, Sir. Don’t let me breathe this time, just p-push me back down,” Sirius croaks. 

 

“Fuck, Sirius,” Remus curses. He pushes Sirius back down, fucking into his throat relentlessly now.

 

“Hold it, baby.” He pushes him down until his lips meet his base. His voice is strained. “Hold it.”

 

Sirius gags and god, it is beautiful and filthy and everything Remus could ever want. 

 

“Good boy,” Remus sighs. “Take it baby, that’s it, fuck.” He watches as Sirius’ eyes roll up into his head as he gags again and it is so beautiful, so hot and god. That fucking  _ mouth _ . 

 

He’s gasping the second Remus slips from him and sets him free. 

 

“So good for me, Sirius,” Remus all but moans. He caresses Sirius’ cheek, cupping it gently for a moment, feeling the heat and the wet drool, the mess he has made of him. 

 

Remus moves behind him then, keeping a hand on him still. To remind him that he is still here. He gently touches his cheek, his shoulder, his hair, his back. Then he crouches to untie Sirius wrists. He takes the rope and the remote from his hands and sets them back on the dresser. 

 

“You good, baby?” Remus asks as he watches Sirius roll his wrists. He doesn’t move them from behind him, though, God, he is amazing. 

 

“Mmhm. Yes, Sir,” he croaks out in an rough whisper . 

 

“You still hard for me?” 

 

Sirius simply looks down at his own crotch, flushing. 

 

“Haven’t touched it?” Remus asks. 

 

“Not until you tell me, Sir. No.”

 

Remus rewards his good behaviour with a slow stroke of Sirius’ cock, his thumb running over the head. Sirius’ cock is still flushed and straining, the cockring still in place. Remus knows that he is unable to help the pathetic little whimpering sound that escapes from his throat in that moment. 

 

He pulls his hand away. 

 

“Get on the bed,” He directs. “On your back. I’m not finished with you, yet.” 


	3. saw you break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He will never let him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's here! as promised!
> 
> thank you all for being so patient with me. i really have felt the love for this fic you are all so amazing. i'm sorry this one took a while. between my last update and this one i've been through some pretty dramatic life things so thank you all for hanging in there. i'm sorry if any of you had been blueballed. my bad. 
> 
> i hope you enjoy this one as much as the rest. 
> 
> as always this fic and this title are named after ["bodyache" by purity ring](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbqcXnTt-7o)
> 
> i also have a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/yu567ep7m3wx5vzqz2pg6kklu/playlist/2lPJzj3UXkDI2TCChKmwzG?si=53eFXJo6TmCnR8kpugNxGA) for this fic if you're into that sort of thing too! 
> 
> come yell at me on [tumblr](https://crownedcirce.tumblr.com/) you know you want to x

Sirius is trembling as he climbs to his feet with shaky knees. He doesn’t really need help, Remus knows this, but he still keeps a hand on Sirius, allowing him to use him for balance and reassurance. The soft touch and closeness silently communicates stability and appreciation. 

  


Remus helps the subspace-hazy Sirius maneuver himself. He can’t help but trail his fingertips over the delicate nubs of Sirius’ nipples, eliciting a soft whine. 

  


Remus lays Sirius on his back, slowly dragging his hand from the plains of his porcelain chest to his cock, gripping lightly. He surveys Sirius through a heated gaze. 

  


“Mmm fuck me, Sir,” Sirius says, breath raspy and desperate. His voice has a distant sound to it that makes Remus tighten his grip around him. 

  


“Shh,” Remus hushes. He slaps the side of Sirius’ thigh with his free hand.

  


“S-sorry, Sir,” he groans as he jerks and shivers. “I’m just  _ so hard.  _ Wanna come s-so bad,” Sirius moans, his words slightly delirious as his hips jerk up in search of any sort of contact for his neglected cock. 

  


Remus frowns in mock disappointment. 

  


“I thought you were going to behave for me.” Remus can’t help but smirk in the end, can’t help but let go of Sirius and dig his nails into the flesh of his thigh instead. He leans down, gripping the back of Sirius’ hair with his other hand. He yanks it, pulling his head back and his chin up. He whispers in his ear. “You come if and when I say you can, understand?” 

  


Sirius’ breath hitches and he arches his back further, hands gripping the sheets at his sides now. 

  


“Yes Sir,” Sirius all but slurs the words together sounding desperately obedient, far from anything anyone could imagine coming from him outside of their bedroom. 

  


This is for Remus, and he will take it. 

  


The way that he sounds makes Remus’ mind run rampant. It makes him want to put his boots back on just to force Sirius down and lick them clean, it makes him want to slip the rope around his neck and pull just to see Sirius’ eyes flutter. He  _ knows _ that’s what Sirius will do. 

  


But, there is always time for that later. Right now, Sirius is plugged, body sprawled on their bed and swimming in subspace. Remus wants to fuck this man until he can’t see straight.

  


As he makes the decision to do just that, Remus leans down, and presses his lips to Sirius, all swollen. It’s a soft, almost chaste thing given their current situation. But, the closeness, he senses, is what Sirius needs. He needs it too, really. To be reminded of what this is, even in the middle of their scene. It’s love. 

  


Remus rolls Sirius onto his front then, carefully maneuvering him, mindful of the invasive black plug and his woozy state. 

  


“On your knees, baby,” he says. It’s gentle, but an order nonetheless. Sirius obliges, arse up, face down, and his wrists crossed in front of him.  _ Fuck _ , he is just  _ so good _ . 

  


Grabbing the lube from the bedside table, Remus kneels behind Sirius on the bed. He slides his free hand from the back of Sirius’ clammy neck, down his spine, to his arse, trailing his fingertips down the backs of his thighs. Goosebumps prickle along his skin, his sparse, dark hairs standing up as Remus moves. His hands come to the flared base of the plug, then. But, he’s interrupted.

  


“Sir?” Sirius croaks out. 

  


Remus’ hands still. 

  


“Colour?”

  


“Gr-” Sirius pauses. “Uh Yellow. Yellow.” 

  


Remus pulls his hands away from Sirius’ skin. 

  


“What’s wrong, Sirius?” His voice is now dripping with concern, but it still remains calm and low. 

  


It’s hard for Remus to come out of his headspace, he’s aware of this. It’s difficult after their scenes, sometimes harder in between scene and normality. With their roles still clear though, he listens. 

  


“I need my wrists tied.” Sirius’ voice is small and breathy. It walks the thin line of embarrassment but, he has just about broken Remus with this instead. He wants to curl himself around Sirius and hold him together. 

  


He said he  _ needs _ this. 

  


This is not what they had agreed upon, it’s not as if Remus had forgotten a minor detail. Sirius  _ needs _ this, Remus can see that it’s because he needs to feel held down. He needs to feel tied together. It’s  _ Security _ . 

  


Remus smiles. 

  


“Of course, darling,” Remus replies softly. He runs his hand in soothing circles on Sirius’ back for a moment before standing to cross the room. “Do you need anything else?” 

  


Sirius shakes his head and watches as Remus grabs the discarded rope from earlier. He follows with his eyes as Remus makes his way back, standing next to the bed near Sirius’ head.

  


Remus checks that the safety scissors are still close, just in case. 

  


“Hands, please.” 

  


Sirius raises his crossed wrists, bending at the elbows, head down and cheek pressed against the bed covers. His eyes are mostly closed, but he is watching as Remus secures his wrists together. 

  


Sirius sighs, content. 

  


“Better?” Remus observes as he visibly begins to relax. 

  


“Much better,” Sirius murmurs. 

  


Remus leans down and kisses him again. Softly. Slowly. 

  


“Colour?” he asks as he stands back up. 

  


“Green, sir.”

  


“Good boy.” Remus climbs back onto the bed behind Sirius and watches as lets out a shaky sigh as he gently tugs at the rope, reminding himself that it’s there. Remus’ hands trail once again from Sirius’ thighs, to his arse, and then gripping the base of the plug with one hand, he twists it gently. 

  


Sirius groans, hips bucking and pushing back. Remus’ other hand grips Sirius’ hip, fingers digging into his skin. 

  


“ _ Stay still _ ,” Remus rumbles. Sirius lets out a heated breath but does as he is told. Remus continues twisting, pouring lube onto the toy as it is pulled out half way. “I know it’s hard for a slutty boy like you.” Remus slides the plug back in, preparing him for movement. 

  


Sirius moans. 

  


“I’ll be good, Sir.” Sirius’ voice is muffled where his face is pressed down into the mattress. “Wanna be good for you.” 

  


Remus smirks before smacking Sirius’ arse. The sound echos and Sirius jerks at the sudden sting.

  


“Oh, I think you just want to be fucked.” Remus thrusts the plug in and out, not faltering through their conversation. 

  


“No. Sir, I just-” Sirius’ breath hitches as the plug is pushed in with a little more force. 

  


“You just what?” 

  


“I want you to fuck me, Sir. So- uh - so bad.” Sirius pauses, panting. “But if. If you just want me to get you off, or if you wanted to come on your shoes a-and have me lick them clean, I’d do it. I’ll do it, Sir. but I just-” Remus knows that he’s being a little cruel, pushing him a little. But, God. He loves Sirius like this, not a trace of self consciousness left. 

  


Remus leans down over Sirius’ boddy, stilling the plug. He runs the index finger on his other hand along Sirius’ lips. They immediately part, welcoming Remus into his mouth. 

  


“I know you would, baby.” 

  


“Sir…” Sirius slurs the word around the intrusion of Remus’ fingers. Remus grinds his erection against Sirius, against the plug. He gasps. 

  


“Feel how hard you make me?” Remus lowers his mouth beside Sirius’ ear and circles the lobe with his tongue, sucking and nibbling before licking along the shell of his ear. Sirius mouth is hanging open around Remus’ fingers now. He thrusts them in and out slowly. 

  


“I  _ love _ making a mess of you,” Remus groans as he speaks, grinding slowly. “I love how well you take my toys, my fingers, my cock. God, I love breaking you. Love how hard I get you. Dripping when I’ve barely touched you. You _ filthy _ , needy thing.” Remus is so hard it’s starting to hurt now. 

  


He pulls away from Sirius’ mouth and sits back up on his knees. His fingers tighten on Sirius’ hip bone as his other hand returns to the plug. Slowly, he eases the toy from Sirius’ body. Sirius doesn’t move. He does, however, let out a high, breathy sound. So uncharacteristic, so fucked out, so beautiful. Remus lets out his own groaning heated sigh at Sirius’ obedience and sets the toy aside.

  


“ _ Good boy _ ,” he praises, roaming his hands up the back of Sirius’ thighs now. 

  


Sirius whines as Remus grips himself and runs the head of his cock teasingly across Sirius’ entrance. 

  


“Sir- Sir,  _ please. Please _ -” Sirius croaks, his wrists twisting against their bondage. 

  


Remus reaches for the lube again, coating himself with it. He can’t help but also coat two fingers. Sirius, he thinks, doesn’t need it. But, God, Remus wants this. 

  


Sirius’ whines as the two fingers are slipped into him, taking them with ease. 

  


“I’m going to make you fucking  _ shake _ .” 

  
  
  


When Remus pushes into Sirius, he does it slowly. He makes Sirius feel every inch of him as he slides into him, hot, hard and thick. Sirius trembles against the urge to rock back against Remus and take more. It’s visible in the way that his knuckles whiten and his thighs strain. Sirius’ breathing has become raspy and short, gasping against the mattress. 

  


“Do-” Sirius pauses, catching his breath. “Does it feel good, Sir?” 

  


“Breathe, baby,” Remus starts. “You feel  _ so good _ .” He moans low as he bottoms out, hips pressing up against Sirius’ heated flesh. 

  


“Gonna let me fuck you?” Remus can’t help but smirk. It taints the tone of his voice, fuels the fire. The sight of Sirius with his legs spread and his face down all for him is getting to him. He has to  _ move _ . 

  


Sirius shudders and moans. 

  


“Use me, Sir.” 

  


Most days, Remus considers himself to be fairly in control of himself. But, the way that Sirius sounds, the way he  _ moans _ the words, has Remus completely _ gone _ . 

  


All Remus can do is obey.

  


The sudden snap of Remus’ hips has Sirius crying out in surprise, muffled by the sheets. He arches his back beautifully, giving Remus as much as he wants to take from him. The sound of his hips crashing into Sirius’ skin is distant, muted by the sound of the bed squeaking underneath their weighted rhythm. 

  


The hyper-focus on his submissive sets in now. The world fades away and all that is left is Sirius, the power burning through his gut, and their needs. 

  


He lifts one hand from the grip he had on Sirius’ hip to drag his nails down Sirius’ spine, leaving red lines drawn on his pale skin. Sirius moans, arching further and twisting his hips. 

  


“That’s it. Look so good, squirming on my cock,” Remus growls. “Feel good now? Now that I gave you what you wanted?” 

  


“Y-yes,” Sirius gasps. 

  


“All filled up with my cock like you wanted?”

  


“Nnn-” is all Sirius is capable of getting out. 

  


“Begged for it all nice and pretty too, didn’t you baby? Like a good little slut should.” 

  


Sirius is all Remus can see in this tunnel vision. The only thing he can feel. Every breath, every movement. It’s all him. He leans forward, gripping a fistfull of dark hair and yanking, pulling Sirius backwards. Sirius arches his neck, leaning back far enough to lean on his bound hands in front of him. 

  


“ _ Say it _ ,” Remus demands. 

  


“I-I’m a good little slut, Sir,” 

  


Remus sees the way that Sirius’ dark lashes flutter. He knows that his eyes must be rolling back now. 

  


“Again.” 

  


“Sh-Shit!” Sirius pants. “I’m a good little s-slut, Sir.” 

  


Remus reaches his other arm around to Sirius’ front, hauling him up, his back now flush against Remus’ chest. The pounding doesn’t falter. Sirius’ head falls back against Remus’ shoulder. He can see his beautiful lips parted, gasping with every breath he takes. 

  


Teasingly, Remus slides his hand right up to Sirius’ throat. He doesn’t squeeze, no. Not tightly. They hadn’t discussed this, yet. Regardless, Remus feels Sirius tighten around him. His cock twitches. 

  


“You like that, don’t you?” Remus purrs into Sirius’ ear. Sirius’ only response is a low, broken moan. “Maybe someday I’ll choke you, hm? Leave pretty little bruises here.” 

  


Sirius’ hips snap and jerk, his breathing stutters and he moans. He’s a desperate fucked out mess. Between Sirius’ spread legs, the sheets are damp with precome, his cock angry and leaking, straining against the cock ring. 

  


Remus feels a low build of pressure in his gut at the sight. A feeling of possession as Sirius moans and groans, inhibitions long lost. 

  


“Bet you wanna come, huh?” Remus asks. 

  


“Ye-” Sirius has to pause. He closes his mouth, swallows. His mouth is dry, his lips chapping now. “Yes. Please, Sir.” 

  


“Oh, I don’t know,” Remus muses, thrusting relentlessly. He drops his hand from Sirius throat then, gripping his leaking cock. “I like seeing you like this. Your cock all pretty and red and dripping.” 

  


Sirius shudders. 

  


Remus groans. He can feel the rhythm of his hips start to lose their consistency.

  


“Sir!” Sirius gasps, almost writhing now. Remus knows he can’t keep this up for much longer. 

  


“Could you come like this for me?” He rumbles. 

  


“Y-yes. Anything. Just need to come. Want to come on your cock.” 

  


“Oh, good boy,” Remus breathes. It’s full of lust and adoration and love. His hips start to lose their rhythm completely, stuttering as the low coil in his gut tightens. He needs Sirius, he needs to feel him. “Come for me,” Remus hisses into Sirius’ ear. It’s punched out. Desperate. 

  


He tightens his grip around Sirius’ cock. It only takes a few strokes before his body goes completely ridgid, his hands trembling and body spasming, his mouth hanging open and his eyes screwed shut. He’s silent for a second, all breath and sound eluding him before he cries out, high and broken and sprinkled with “S-Sir’s” and “F-Fuckfuck.”  

  


Sirius is so unimaginably tight around him now. Remus fucks into him with earnest, still working Sirius though his orgasm, his come wet and hot over his hand. 

  


“So  _ good _ for me, Sirius, so good. Fuck,  _ fuck _ -” Remus’ breath is fast and ragged as he feels his orgasm rush over him. 

  


Both of Remus’ hands come to grip Sirius’ hips now, fingertips digging into his skin. He pounds his now pliant body, riding him out through the hot wave. 

  


He can hear Sirius’ breathy slurs and he’s replying, he thinks. Heated praises and dirty words, low and growling. He bites down hard into Sirius’ shoulder and God, the sound Sirius makes at the pain, at the feeling of ownership that Remus inflicts on him. It has Remus reeling in the feeling that he will never let go of this. 

  


He will never let  _ him _ go. 


	4. quietest feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You made me feel so safe. Always do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay y'all, this is it! 
> 
> This is the last one. And it's short. I'm sorry about that. I always had planned for the last one to just be a pretty little bow on top of this kinky cake. idk. 
> 
> I hope you like it anyway! You have all been so supportive through this multichap fuck-fest which is so amazing to me. 
> 
> As always the title and chapter title of this fic come from ["bodyache" by purity ring](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbqcXnTt-7o)
> 
> come yell at me on [tumblr](https://crownedcirce.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/crownedcirce) if you fancy it

“Darling, I’m going to get you water, you need something to drink.” 

 

Sirius scowls. It’s almost a pout, not dissimilar to something you’d see on a toddler in the supermarket. He shakes his head and is hand shoots out to grip the fabric of Remus’ pyjama bottoms sitting low on his hips. 

 

“No. Need you,” Sirius mumbles, eyes half closed. It’s always hard when Sirius is this far in subspace. It takes a while for him to come down sometimes. Remus knows this and, taking care of Sirius helps him come down too. It helps transition between a dominating role into his normal self. To Sirius’ husband. Looking after him this way gives him a middle ground as they work out their new roles. 

 

Remus sighs. He runs his fingers through Sirius’ hair. They get a little tangled, but Sirius sighs contentedly nevertheless, leaning into the touch. He slides his hand down to gently stroke his cheek. It’s rosey and warm. 

 

“Of course, love.” Remus offers his hand then, and Sirius places his own within Remus’ grip. Their hands lace together, their fingers finding homes between the spaces of the other’s. 

 

“Are you hurting? Can you walk?”

 

“‘m okay. Still floaty, I don’t know”

 

“Come with me then.” Remus smiles gently. 

 

Sirius nods and stands up, trailing after Remus with their fingers intertwined. Remus’ other hands comes up to rest on Sirius’ shoulder and then his hips as they move together down the hallway, constantly touching. 

 

It’s for Sirius, the continued contact. It’s a comfort and helps with any shakiness or feelings of abandonment which, Remus knows, are all common reactions when coming down after a scene. It’s for Remus too, though. To make sure he’s still here. To make sure he didn’t hurt Sirius, not in any way that wouldn’t heal. It’s reassuring. To know that after, he still wants Remus around. So, he ensures that part of him is always available if Sirius wants or needs to touch, to told, to lean against as he reaches up into their kitchen cupboard for a clean glass. 

 

“Drink,” he says, handing the glass filled with water over to Sirius. He obeys without question, his other hand still holding Remus’. He’d pulled Remus’ button down shirt on earlier when Remus had offered pyjamas. As he watches now though, Sirius’ dark lashes fluttering over pale cheeks, his adam’s apple bobbing as he gulps down water, his shirt slipping off his shoulder with the buttons haphazardly done up; he really is the most beautiful thing Remus has ever seen. “Bedroom or couch?” 

 

“Mm, bedroom,” Sirius replies. “Wanna lay down.” 

 

Remus grabs a bar of chocolate from the pantry before leading Sirius back into the bedroom. He sits Sirius down and, after making him take another large gulp, sets the water on the bedside table.

 

He does need to clean their toys but, that can wait. 

 

Climbing into bed next to Sirius, he pulls the covers up over both of them. Sirius will start to get colder soon as the endorphins wear off. 

 

“Eat some chocolate, it’ll help,” Remus says. Sirius, however, just cuddles  into his chest. “Or, no cuddles.”

 

“That’s a lie,” Sirius mumbles. “Part of your aftercare.” 

 

“And yours,” Remus lets out a small chuckle. It’s a soft, tired thing. Sirius smiles and unwraps the chocolate bar, shuffling and sitting up a little in order to take a bite. His head is still rested on Remus’ chest and he can feel the way his jaw works as he munches. The feeling relaxes him. Sirius is warm, and safe, and happily comfortable with him. Remus circles his arms around him, letting out a deep sigh of contentment. “You feeling okay?”

 

“ _ So good _ ,” Sirius replies around a mouthful of chocolate. “Was everything I wanted.”

 

Remus feels a knot in his chest loosen. He hadn’t realised it was even there. But, Sirius’ response put him at ease. 

 

“I’m glad,” Remus murmurs, almost blushing. Sirius looks up at Remus, swallowing a mouthful of his snack. 

 

“You made me feel so safe. Always do.” 

 

“Is there anything else you would’ve liked? Needed?” Remus’ hands are back, carding through the dark hair on top of Sirius’ head. Sirius seems to thoughtfully consider the question. 

 

“We… don’t have a spreader bar, do we?” Sirius eyes are wide, the tips of his ears pink. Remus lets out a soft sigh, relaxing once more. He isn’t entirely sure that he deserves this man, but he is so happy that he is here in this moment with him. 

 

“Well, no. But, we could look into it if that’s something you’d like to try.” Remus is smirking now. “We can talk about that later, though. You need sleep.” 

 

Remus can feel Sirius’ answering yawn, quiet and warm against the light hairs on his bare chest. 

 

“But, I know you want to do more debriefing.” A second yawn follows. 

 

“Sleep darling, your body needs it,” Remus replies. “We can talk after. I’ll give you a back rub too.” 

 

Sirius looks back up at Remus for a moment. There is undeniable adoration in his expression and it takes Remus’ breath away. He’s still not used to that. 

 

“You’ll be here when I wake up?” Sirius raises his eyebrows. 

 

Remus can’t help but smile as his heart flutters. 

 

“Of course I’ll be here.”

 

“Thank you, Sir,” Sirius mumbles. Remus kisses his forehead, brushing unruly hairs away from his face. 

 

“Anything for you, my love.” 

  
Remus is  _ certain _ that the scene in front of him now, is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. 

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry that I, a lesbian, turned this chapter into an in depth blowjob


End file.
